Valentine's Day: Testing Ross's Commitment to a FLR

Monday, February 8, 2016

It has been more than a week since I last posted, and things have continued to move fast toward formalizing my female-led relationship with my husband Ross.  I see there are a lot of people reading this blog but only one person has commented, so I don’t know if people seeing this post know what is really happening in my life.  Since last summer, and especially since September, my husband, Ross, and I have been considering moving into a female led relationship.  Ross is most enthusiastic about it, and has challenged me to take “real control” of our lives.  We have incorporated some dimensions of FLR in our lives related to sexual control, orgasm control and general decision making in a voluntary way.  The more we implement an FLR, the more encouragement Ross has given me to “take it to the next level,” emphasizing that he will be more “emotionally fulfilled,” if we move deeply into an FLR.

Ross has also provided an evolving revelation about his desire to transition to female.  I have had a sense of this for most of the 15 years of our marriage, and in the role play in which we have engaged in the past Ross has, with my help, been able to present very convincingly as a woman. 

A confounding factor in this unfolding life experience is the love affair I am now involved in with my hair stylist, Angela.  It was a remarkable coincidence that once when I arrived for a hair appointment, Angela was providing services to a man, dressed attractively in women’s clothes.  That prompted a conversation weeks later that revealed Angela knew a woman she described as a professional dominatrix who was her male client’s former mistress.  Consequently, Angela has become a considerable source of information about FLR relationships, and through our communication I think it is fair to say she seduced me, although I don’t regret it all.  I had a lesbian relationship almost 20 years ago, and this new relationship has provided the most exciting and satisfying sex of my life. 

At the same time, I remain deeply in love with my husband, and appreciate that he has been so supportive of me through the years.  While he does not know about Angela (at least the fact that we are involved sexually), I don’t think he would severely object if he believed it did not threaten my relationship with him.

Ross’s dares to “make our FLR real,” have been delivered with a laugh, but also with an edge.  He obviously thinks this is all a game to me, but I have evolved in my attitudes to this type of relationship, and with Angela’s encouragement and help, have come up with a way to formalize our FLR that will require Ross to make a commitment that will reverse our positions and require him to prove he really wants a formal FLR. 

Next Sunday, with Angela’s help, and the help of her pro dominatrix friend (it wasn’t free, but I think it is going to be worth it), I am going to put Ross through a test that I think will reveal if he really wants to live the life of a submissive male, and potentially undergo feminization supervised by me, with Angela’s assistance.  I am conflicted about my relationship with Angela – not the relationship so much as the fact that it is occurring secretly without Ross’ knowledge.  (It just seems likely that this is going to come into the open soon.  It can’t go on like this indefinitely.)  Angela is enthusiastic about helping feminize Ross, if that is what actually unfolds.  This is an erotically toxic situation that I cannot turn away from right now.  I hope it does not end in sadness for anyone, but the intensity of my relationship with Angela and the excitement of my evolving relationship with my husband are very intoxicating in a super-charged way.

I find myself already thinking ahead to Ross’s feminization, specifically the practical aspects of it.  Ross works in a medical care environment and is very good at his job and highly regarded for his abilities.  There are also two people (that I know of – I used to work there) at the medical center where he works who have successfully transitioned.  Employment policies would protect him if he chose to transition, the quality of his work performance makes him valuable to retain, and employees in his work position wear nearly “genderless” work clothes, so I believe his on-the-job transition would be about as smooth as could occur in any work setting.  We will see what the future holds.