My husband Ross is becoming my wife, Ellie

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

It is 8 weeks to the day since my last post.  To sum up, I’ve been married for approximately 16 years and late last summer my husband and I started to talk more seriously about turning our relationship into a more female-led relationship.  I would describe myself, in the early stages, as open-minded but uncertain.  A variety of circumstances, through the holidays and into January, made me more enthusiastic about becoming the leader in our marriage, and the more we got into it, the more my husband challenged/dared me to go even further (all of this information is described fully in previous posts).

My mindset about our situation was complicated by a very intense lesbian relationship I had with my hair stylist a short time ago.

On Valentine’s Day, my hair stylist (yes, its complicated) orchestrated a commitment ceremony during which my husband pledged to be my submissive husband for a trial period through May 22.  Shortly after the ceremony, I took my husband to get a Prince Albert piercing.  Another revelation was that my husband wants to transition to being a woman and wants me to guide him in the process.

By the end of the first week of March we had identified an endocrinologist to supervise my husband’s hormone replacement therapy and we each participated in a counseling session (one for me, two for him) before he was approved for hormone therapy.  Today is the five-week anniversary of his commencement of hormone therapy.

Although my husband is in the very early stages of male-to-female transition, we have discarded his former name (Ross is the name I used in this blog) and replaced it with a feminine name (Ellie in this blog).  We each now think of “him” as a woman and hereafter I will refer to Ellie as her/she.

Not surprisingly, our relationship has undergone some very substantial changes since the commencement of Ellie’s MTF hormone therapy.  This is partly due to the hormones themselves, but also partly due to our level of acceptance of Ellie as a woman and our respective roles as dominant and submissive in this relationship. 

Although we are only 35 days into HRT, and started at a modest-to-low dose, there are some obvious effects that Ellie is experiencing.  The most obvious is that Ellie’s physical response to sexual stimulation is not as strong as before HRT.  I have not noticed any breast development, except Ellie’s nipples.  The overall dynamic of our relationship has changed as well, although that is only partly due to the effects of hormones. We have talked seriously about our future and I am fully committed to being married to Ellie for as long as I live and I think she is equally committed to being married to me.  In fact, I think she is joyfully relieved to know that I enthusiastically accept her transition, and am happy to accept the responsibility of guiding her through the male-to-female process. 

I never shared with Ellie that I had an intimate relationship with Angela.  I decided to end the intimate part of that relationship.  She is still my hairstylist and friend, and now is the person upon whom Ellie depends for all her salon services. 

I am undeniably the dominant partner in my relationship with Ellie, as she is the submissive.  We have fully acknowledged our respective roles in our relationship, but to this point it has been unnecessary for me discipline Ellie in any way.  She is completely compliant in all respects.  We both make substantial salaries in health care and I oversee the use of 100% of our combined income while providing Ellie with a considerable allowance and a single credit card for emergency use only.  We have a housekeeper and share very limited housekeeping tasks.  We share the food preparation responsibilities although Ellie’s role has been increasing.  In our intimate relationship we both fully embrace the premise that our intimate experiences are specifically for the purpose of providing me with pleasure and the Ellie’s pleasure comes from serving me.  She has repeatedly told me that is her preference. 

I don’t know the reason that Ellie likes being dominated, but she has explained to me that being “forced” to undergo this male-to-female transition allows her to feel confident that I like seeing her go through this change and that I accept it.   I tremendously enjoy Ellie’s developing feminine persona and my strongest demands of her have been to require her to conform to a variety of feminine behaviors.  Several years ago, Ellie shared with me a fantasy of being forced to wear bras and fanaticized being told by a dominant woman that (this was in his “male” days) he would be forced to wear a bra every day for the rest of his life.  When we recently began to see the first signs of breast development (slightly enlarged and protruding nipples) I took her to buy a bra but would not initially allow her to wear it.  This past weekend, after an exquisite lovemaking session, I spent some time kissing Ellie’s puffy and painful nipples and asked if she was ready to start wearing a bra.  She asked if I thought she needed one, and I told her she did not yet need a bra but she did need to get used to wearing a bra every day.  I told her how much I looked forward to her having full breasts and soon she would have to wear a bra everyday to provide support for what I hoped would be “big boobs.”  Remembering her previous fantasy, I also told her the next morning she was to put on the bra I had given her, and to wear it all day, and that would be the first day of wearing a bra every day for the rest of her life.  I was emphatic that this was an important milestone beyond which there was no return, and that she was to never, ever to go another day without wearing a bra as a part of her everyday attire. 

In our work, long, painted, and especially acrylic nails are a “no-no,” but I take Ellie every two weeks for a French pedicure, and I have her wear shoes or sandals that reveal her pretty feet.  Ellie never did have much body hair, but I require her to keep her body free of hair and she reports that she thinks since the start of hormones she does not need to be as frequent in shaving her legs.

She wears women’s clothes at all times except at work, where she wears a nursing uniform that is nearly unisex.  Her employer is “trans friendly,” and she is also highly valued for her professional expertise, so at the appropriate time (when she can no longer “pass” as male, in my opinion) she will pursue transitioning on the job.  She has two co-workers who have undergone male-to-female transition and they have told her that her transition will be well-received. 

Ellie is a gentle, loving submissive partner who I am enjoying guiding in her development as a woman.  Spending time together as women (which is now all the time) is not something that either of us yet take for granted.