Real Progress for FLR

Sunday, January 24, 2016

It has only been three days since I last posted.  First, I am “getting the hang” of this posting business, and second, things are moving much faster than I expected in agreeing to give a female-led relationship a trial.  I had all of last week off from work, but Ross worked Tuesday through Friday.  I told him I wanted to meet for lunch Friday and because he was working, I told him to pick the restaurant.  He works close to downtown LA so he picked Olvera Street (the oldest street in LA).  Not a surprise, because he loves Mexican food (I do too) and Olvera is lined with Mexican restaurants. 

As soon as we ordered, I told him I wanted to talk about adopting an FLR lifestyle.  I asked him to confirm that he understood that he was agreeing that I would be the undisputed “boss” of our relationship every minute of everyday for a trial period we agreed on.  I asked him to suggest a trial length and he insisted he wanted our agreement to be permanent.  I reminded him that for now this was a trial and to answer my question, to which he answered “one year.”  That is too long, and I suggested our trial last until May 1.  We need to attend a college graduation in Wisconsin in early May, and I think, if this trial lasts that long, that will be a good time to re-assess. 

I told him I had made a decision that was going to demonstrate if he was really on board with me taking control of our relationship – that I was going to take his car as mine and trade my car in for a new car for him to drive.  His car is a nearly new, very expensive SUV that he loves!  I told him his new car would be a compact hatchback.  He was stunned.  I took his reaction to be one of disbelief that I wanted to take his car, but he corrected me and told me that his reaction was one of amazement that I was really taking control.  He seemed a little overwhelmed at the reality of my decision.  I am convinced now that this was a good first step.  Before we parted at the end of our lunch, I told him my reading indicated most FLR relationships had well-defined expectations on both sides, and told him that I wanted him to write what he thought both our contributions should be to an FLR relationship, and that I would do the same.  I told him we would talk about these expectations next weekend (January 30-31).

On the way home on after lunch, I bought the bracelet that I am going to require him to wear, and Saturday morning we went car shopping.  If people are serious about buying a car, it is as easy as buying a pair of shoes.  I knew what I wanted Ross to drive and by 1:00p we had bought a nicely appointed, new Kia Soul.  The salesperson (a woman, I liked that) talked to both of us initially, but I answered all the questions and gave all the directions.  Soon she directed all of her comments to me, and was only thrown off momentarily when I corrected her assumption that I was buying the car for me, telling her it was going to be Ross’ car to drive.        

Last night we went out to a dinner and a movie (Star Wars – good, but not as good as I expected) and I drove “MY” new car with Ross as the passenger.  Just talking to him about liking my new car and liking being in control got him aroused – I am beginning to recognize what “sub space” is and he was definitely in it! There was an intense sexual vibe all night and I enjoyed it very much.  He told me that when I took his car and bought a different car for him, that really did seem real and not a game.  He reiterated how important it is to him that my dominance be real and not a game.  He admitted that he could not dictate my feelings but hoped I really did come to embrace being in control.  (I am beginning to think I will!) When we got in bed, I teased him with my touch and talking to him.  I told him from now until at least May, he was going to have far fewer orgasms and I was going to have a lot more.  When I asked him if he was ready for that, his exact words were “Oh God yes!”  For more than an hour I directed him on how to pleasure me with his touch and mouth and I had more than one exquisite orgasm.  The thing I really enjoyed was focusing on myself knowing Ross wasn’t going to “cum,” and I didn’t even need to think about his pleasure.  That was very freeing.  This is a goofy analogy, but it was a little like eating as much as I wanted without having to worry about the calories.

Ross still seems to feel I cannot be as demanding as is necessary for him to feel that our FLR is “real.”  He is almost daring me to test his limits being subservient to me.  I am going to spend this week thinking seriously about what rules/expectations we can incorporate that I will be comfortable with and that will confirm to Ross that he is my submissive.  Two sources that have been especially helpful to me in thinking about the framework of an FLR, are the Femdom Think Tank Blog (thank you Mz. Kaylee) and the Five Food Groups of FLR (finances, free time, life direction, household chores, and sex). 

I plan on putting Ross on a long-term orgasm denial program, (I teased him that he would not have another orgasm until at least May) but really hope I can achieve this with the honor system.  That may seem naïve, but we will see.  I have investigated chastity, but the kind of device that I think would be perfect does not seem to exist.  If I were to put Ross in chastity, I would like to use a light weight sleeve that is held on with a piercing.  The closest I have seen to what I think is ideal is a device by Ms. Lori (chastity device 5B for those of you familiar with her products), but it is made of steel, and appears very heavy.  If anyone has advice on this issue, I would appreciate reading your comment.